Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
