coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
