Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)