I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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