omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
