Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the condom got lost in my hair
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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