why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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