none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Sponge bath it is.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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