Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
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Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
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I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Still dying that you shit outside
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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