Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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