There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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