idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
