He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
