Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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