just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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