The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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