well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
