I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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