fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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