Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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