did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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