He uses pillows to masturbate.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
