I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
