So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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