So drunk its hurt
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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