wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
