I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
