white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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