Umm I'm too high to move.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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