they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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