There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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