dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
