508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
