I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
that's an acceptable place to lick
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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