Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize