I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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