Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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