tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
