Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now

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  (321): just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now http://tfl.nu/uvwa
  Replies (4) Good night (699) Bad night (858)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.

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  (513): thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES. http://tfl.nu/uymn
  Replies (4) Good night (706) Bad night (2631)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.

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  (610): I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate. http://tfl.nu/wg9p
  Replies (11) Good night (982) Bad night (3532)
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  (818): View more from California

  Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.

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  (818): Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you. http://tfl.nu/btkl
  Replies (11) Good night (6778) Bad night (1161)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???

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  (941): She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina??? http://tfl.nu/hnyt
  Replies (24) Good night (1182) Bad night (7993)
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  (661): View more from California

  It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

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  (661): It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job. http://tfl.nu/htiz
  Replies (32) Good night (5254) Bad night (1328)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.

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  (215): Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places. http://tfl.nu/tyy2
  Replies (5) Good night (3004) Bad night (712)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone

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  (512): I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone http://tfl.nu/z79l
  Replies (11) Good night (1796) Bad night (491)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?

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  (850): Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony? http://tfl.nu/sjtx
  Replies (10) Good night (522) Bad night (979)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic

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  (902): that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic http://tfl.nu/ua91
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (223)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"

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  (563): He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this" http://tfl.nu/544k
  Replies (8) Good night (1038) Bad night (269)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?

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  (713): Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why? http://tfl.nu/s3mv
  Replies (4) Good night (456) Bad night (246)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.

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  (202): She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home. http://tfl.nu/t0al
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (706)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?

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  (630): Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids? http://tfl.nu/4q99
  Replies (4) Good night (547) Bad night (239)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".

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  (231): My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here". http://tfl.nu/5x82
  Replies (2) Good night (496) Bad night (208)

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