how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
