He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
do herpes really smell.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?