Texts From Last Night

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  (325): View more from Texas

  That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.

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  (325): That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions. http://tfl.nu/l7t6
  Replies (21) Good night (3183) Bad night (1267)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.

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  (514): What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign. http://tfl.nu/l1zt
  Replies (11) Good night (801) Bad night (3559)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.

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  (702): Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily. http://tfl.nu/1vv1
  Replies (3) Good night (3561) Bad night (938)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.

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  (303): She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga. http://tfl.nu/aid2
  Replies (6) Good night (2702) Bad night (705)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B

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  (646): Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B http://tfl.nu/w0hg
  Replies (12) Good night (3015) Bad night (887)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I wish I could just hang out in ERs.

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  (503): I wish I could just hang out in ERs. http://tfl.nu/ev60
  Replies (9) Good night (569) Bad night (939)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.

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  (540): There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day. http://tfl.nu/ga2m
  Replies (5) Good night (1008) Bad night (472)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.

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  (636): Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year. http://tfl.nu/cp8d
  Replies (4) Good night (576) Bad night (960)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life

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  (608): Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life http://tfl.nu/ljpd
  Replies (15) Good night (719) Bad night (1169)
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  (818): View more from California

  You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.

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  (818): You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer. http://tfl.nu/8foa
  Replies (1) Good night (631) Bad night (292)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell

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  (201): Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell http://tfl.nu/payj
  Replies (5) Good night (2690) Bad night (447)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it

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  (832): Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it http://tfl.nu/qafe
  Replies (2) Good night (648) Bad night (305)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...

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  (781): I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded... http://tfl.nu/sk2i
  Replies (3) Good night (335) Bad night (824)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.

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  (303): Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me. http://tfl.nu/gipg
  Replies (0) Good night (473) Bad night (298)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!

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  (540): GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES! http://tfl.nu/r84w
  Replies (2) Good night (525) Bad night (260)

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