my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
