it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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