You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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