I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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