operation have a gay friend backfired
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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