And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
