Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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