it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
