I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
