i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
