there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
