I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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