Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
well you can't waste a boner
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
