dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
