final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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