this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
