I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize