I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
