what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
