Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
