pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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