So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
