So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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